Staying Centered

I sat outside, in the glorious sun of a brisk spring day, to do, what I call my morning pages. I got this concept from the Artist's Way years ago and I like to say that it is a daily practice. It has served me well to use it as a mental dump - a place where I can throw all my worries, problems, issues, tasks at hand, and even wishes and dreams. I write freeform, without stopping, and let whatever comes to my head drop onto the page. It is so cathartic and therapeutic that it typically puts me in a state of true centeredness. It also creates more room in my mind and my spirit to allow new creations, dreams and ideas to fill it back up.

I write 3 pages straight and if I happen to be on a roll I will continue until the flow begins to slow down. Some days I could write freeform for hours but I try to limit it to 3 pages because I do have work to do and I would rather use my writing time to write for a specific project. The morning pages has its particular purpose and 3 pages is enough to entice the creative gatekeepers to let me in. Once I have finished writing, I feel light - many weights of unanswered questions have been lifted off of my spirit and I can easily flow into my creative work day.

The problem with today, even though I was enjoying the sun that I haven't seen for... what seems like months, was that when I opened up my tablet I noticed the date of my last written morning pages - almost 3 months ago. As I said, I would LIKE to say that it is a daily practice. There are only a few things that can get me in a state where I feel centered in the morning and where the feeling will last throughout my day. Those few things include: writing morning pages, exercise (especially yoga), meditation and listening to music. Each one of these activities inspires the other too and the more I do them the more I want to do more.

For some reason, being "busy" seems to counteract my need for being centered. It is a great thing that I have been busy for that last few months but not in the sense of being able to take care of my mental, spiritual and physical needs. This not only happens with my writing but it also happens with exercise. I have tremendous will power when I have a goal to work towards. For instance, at the beginning of the year I did a 3 week cleanse where I could only eat fruits and vegetables and a little bit of protein half way through the cleanse. I could not have alcohol or caffeine which was the most difficult. I did it though and I didn't break down. Right after the cleanse I got inundated with projects and work and my practice of eating healthy flew right out the window.

Now that I have a breather between projects, I realize that I am back to where I was at the beginning of the year. When I quit eating well and exercising daily and then try to start up again, it is very difficult to stay motivated - it's like starting all over. Since I am in my mid 40's, getting back in shape is not easy anymore. I quickly lose endurance and muscle mass and the fat seems to accumulate even quicker. Not only is it difficult physically but I think the mental struggle is even harder to start over. I have to battle psychologically, in order to push through the waves and waves of negative thoughts, to continue. I will push through once again this time but hopefully I have finally learned my lesson.

So here is my wake up call again - a cycle that continues even throughout my forties. How can I combine my crazy family and work life to incorporate the useful methods that keep me centered? I need to understand that being busy is when I need to be grounded and centered the most. It creates the flow, I am more efficient and I feed myself with new energies and purge myself of unneeded and unwanted things.

A daily practice is essential for centered creativity and health.

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New Alone. Poster

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April Morning

I woke up this morning and this is what I saw.  It's two weeks, or maybe one week, past winter and my expectations are budding trees, flowering cherry blossoms, fields of tulips and the fragrance of spring filling the air.  If you take this picture out of it's context, of being a snow day in spring, it looks like an amazing winter day.  The fog is disguises the horizon, frost clings to even the tinyest branches and blades of grass defiantly poke through the frozen tundra.  I can see it for what it is.  It is beauty and it is glorious.  

The problem with a day like this happening in April is that it conflicts with our expectations of what should be.  I compare my expectation of a sunny, green day with what is, a gloomy continuation of winter, and there lies the conflict.  This conflict can make a day miserable if the gap between expectation and reality is too great. I know we all experience this gap in one way or another. 

I don't think it is about lowering expectations or removing them either. Removing the judgement is what needs to be done. After the judgement is gone I can experience much more than I thought possible. I want to remove the labels and see the beauty in the moment and celebrate it for all it is. I want to remember to separate my judgement from what it really is. 

 

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April morning

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Ethan Seneker

Ethan Seneker ~ Producer, Writer, Director and Editor of Alone. short film.

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Zombie Camp T-Shirts Coming...

Here are the new Zombie Camp T-Shirts.  On sale soon to help with our production costs.  Let me know if you would like one...

I'll post prices and info soon.

Thanks.

Phil

Ramon designed these awesome t's:

Ramon Maiden
www.ramonmaiden.com

info@ramonmaiden.com

www.spotfilm.com

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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A message for you from yourself.

A message for you from yourself.

You need to give yourself a pat on the back. Really, what you've done is pretty incredible. I am talking to you. You, that special person who, despite everything, is still working hard to achieve your dream.

Despite having to pick the kids up from school, you are still writing. Despite being flat broke, you're still taking acting lessons. Despite the daily grind of your horrible, monotonous job, you're still directing short movies in the middle of the night. Despite everyone around you believing you are NOT a writer and NOT a director and NOT an actor, you're still going strong. You are still creating things.

 DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING YOU ARE?

Give yourself a pat on the back. Give yourself some ice cream. Treat yourself to a hooker. Seriously, you're amazing. How can that be? How can it be that after hundreds of people saying "but you're not really doing much with your little films" and despite people who are really important to you saying "It's cute that you're trying to write," despite all those things that would make any sane person scream and want to hide away forever-- you are still here. You are still going on film directing courses, you're still listening to podcasts, and reading film blogs, and trying to turn that idea in your head into something on a page or a screen. You are still doing that.

Have you ever stopped to appreciate that? Let me tell you now, you're winning here. Despite the world doing that thing it does, where it builds these big walls and says "I think you'll find life is lived in this way..." you've managed to climb the wall again and again. Despite the horrible job, the negative people who pop up every time you leave the house, despite it all - you are HERE, RIGHT NOW, agreeing with what I am saying. You have worked your socks off, and you are still doing it.

This might be your 14th short film, it might be your 26th screenplay, it might be your 363rd audition. They may have proved that you are a failure. And they are right. Right up until the time you become a success. You're pretty amazing. You inspire me. You're still going.

You are Steve Martin, eight years into being a stand up comedian, wondering where his audience is. You are Tom Hanks, carrying people's bags into hotels. You are Jack Lemmon, sleeping in abandoned buildings, wondering exactly when it is you're going to get an acting job.

You're amazing.

Keep up the great work.

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